How to Navigate Criticism with Gravitas

Spending time with loved ones during the holidays is a privilege—one that not all of us have the luxury of. Yet, these moments of togetherness can also reveal hidden challenges, becoming unexpected triggers for our Inner Critic. When loved ones voice unsolicited opinions—whether delivered as jokes or serious critiques—it can feel like a direct hit to our self-esteem, inviting self-doubt and sparking what we call the Setback Spiral, where a single comment snowballs into a full-blown narrative of inadequacy.

Why Criticism Can Feel So Personal

During the holidays, the combination of close family dynamics and heightened expectations can make us more sensitive to feedback. Loved ones may share observations that unintentionally cut deep:

• Lifestyle Choices : You should really start taking better care of yourself.

  
  

• Life Milestones: Still single? When are you going to settle down?

  
  

• Appearance:  You’ve put on some weight since last year, haven’t you?

  
  

• Traditions:  Why didn’t you stay to help clean up?

What makes these comments sting isn’t just their content—it’s how they align with our own insecurities, giving the Inner Critic ammunition to magnify a passing remark into a verdict on our worth.

How to Conquer the Setback Spiral

1. Contain the Criticism: Containment Theory teaches us to isolate criticism, keeping it from snowballing into a full-blown narrative of inadequacy. When faced with negative feedback, remind yourself that:

   • This is one moment, not a reflection of my entire identity.

   • Criticism is about a specific action or choice, not my worth as a person.

   • By mentally drawing a boundary around the comment, you create space to evaluate it objectively rather than emotionally.

     
     

2. Channel the Creating Superpower:  The Creating superpower allows you to see criticism as a tool for improvement rather than a personal attack. Ask yourself:

   • Is there validity in this feedback? If so, how can I use it constructively?

   • What part of this reflects their perspective rather than my reality?
     This approach turns criticism into an opportunity to refine your ideas, actions, or approach without letting it define your self-worth.

     
     

3. Channel the Self-Sustaining Superpower: The Self-Sustaining superpower is like Teflon armor that deflects any energy devoted to taking criticism personally—it equips you with emotional resilience by reinforcing the belief that “I am enough.” Criticism doesn’t have to pierce your confidence when you can view it as neutral feedback. To practice Self-Sustaining:

   • Acknowledge your inherent value, independent of others’ opinions.

   • Treat feedback as external input, not a personal judgment.

   • Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, reminding yourself of everything you’ve done well.

Moving Forward

The Setback Spiral may feel inevitable, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. By employing Containment Theory and channeling the Creating and Self-Sustaining superpowers, you can transform criticism into a stepping stone for personal growth. Remember: setbacks don’t define you—they refine you. With every piece of feedback, you’re building resilience, deepening self-awareness, and embracing the beautiful, complex person you already are. Because it’s not about avoiding the spiral—it’s about how we rise from it.

Loneliness During The Holidays

The holidays bring festive lights, cheerful music, and a calendar full of gatherings—but for some, this time of year also comes with a profound sense of loneliness.

You might be spending the holidays alone due to the loss of a loved one, a breakup, or strained family dynamics. Maybe you can’t afford to travel or participate in celebrations, or perhaps being surrounded by others is the last thing you feel like doing.

Whatever the source, loneliness during the holidays is a deeply personal experience that doesn’t need to be “fixed” but rather understood.

Three Ways to Approach Holiday Loneliness

Holiday loneliness often stems from an unspoken expectation to feel happy and connected during this season. Society tells us this is a time for family, love, and togetherness, which can create a stark contrast if your reality doesn’t match up. This gap between expectation and reality can make you feel like you’re the only one struggling, but in truth, many people face similar feelings during this time.

Loneliness is real, but it doesn’t have to define your holiday season. Here are ways to reframe your experience and take small, meaningful steps toward connection and comfort, tapping into 3 of our 8 superpowers.

1. The Giving Superpower: Show Up for Yourself and Others

   One of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness is the act of giving. This doesn’t mean material gifts—it’s about generosity of spirit. Giving can look like:

   • Checking in on a friend who might also be feeling lonely.

   • Volunteering with a local organization or community group.

   • Giving yourself the gift of self-care, whether that’s a day spent reading, taking a walk, binge watching a show, or treating yourself to something special (personally, I will be taking myself to see Wicked for the second time with the biggest popcorn bucket!).

   • By focusing on acts of kindness, you create opportunities for connection and remind yourself that you matter.
   
   

2. The Believing Superpower:  Redefine the Season
   Believing allows us to find meaning even in challenging times. It reminds us that loneliness doesn’t have to be permanent and that this season can be redefined in ways that resonate with where you are right now. Try reframing your perspective:

   • Focus on gratitude. What is one thing you’re grateful for this season, no matter how small?

   • Create new traditions. If you’re alone, make it a time to explore what makes you happy—whether it’s cooking a favorite meal, journaling, or starting a creative project.

   • Embrace solitude as a gift. Sometimes being alone can be a rare opportunity to recharge and reflect.

     
     

3. The Knowing Superpower:  Find Comfort in Clarity

   Loneliness can often feel overwhelming, but the Knowing superpower gives us the ability to bring order to our emotions. When we stop resisting how we feel and acknowledge it, we create space to move forward.

   • Recognize that it’s okay to feel lonely.

   • Identify what you need: Is it time to reflect, or do you need to reach out for support?

   • Make small, deliberate plans: A walk in nature, a phone call to a friend, or even putting up a holiday decoration can create a sense of grounding and warmth.

Letting Loneliness Teach You

Loneliness during the holidays is undeniably hard, but it also presents an opportunity to grow. It teaches us how to sit with our emotions, build resilience, and find meaning in unexpected places.

This holiday season, give yourself permission to honor your feelings, embrace your superpowers, and redefine what this time of year can be. Remember: you’re not alone, even if it feels that way.

With gratitude,

Lisa Sun

GRAVITAS Founder and CEO

“As a recovering perfectionist this time of year is particularly challenging. Just this weekend, after 3 holiday parties and 3 trees up and decorated I paused and thought maybe the kitchen doesn't need decorating beyond a few holiday candles, wreaths and an amaryllis. Give yourself grace and just be present.”

LISA N. (From LinkedIn)