Letting Go of the Superhero Facade

The holiday season is magical—but it’s also exhausting. It’s easy to feel like the weight of the season rests entirely on your shoulders as you juggle the pressures to have every aspect perfectly in order. And for many of us, there’s an unspoken expectation to make it all look effortless.

This is the Superhero Facade, one of the  6 Forces That Hold You Back , at work: the belief that everything is picture-perfect and that we’ll do it all with a smile. Cultural norms may also place additional pressure on women to curate a memorable holiday season; this is further compounded by the emotional labor required to manage schedules, anticipate others’ needs, and balance competing priorities—all of which are rarely acknowledged. The fear of disappointing loved ones can make delegating or saying “no” feel impossible, leading to overcommitment and exhaustion. And yet, the desire to maintain the illusion of perfection persists, often at great personal cost.

Reclaim Your Holiday Joy

The holidays were never meant to be a test of endurance. Instead of carrying the burden of perfection, shift your mindset:

• Trade “perfect” for present. The most memorable moments are messy, funny, and heartfelt. Connection matters more than aesthetics.

  
  

• Let go of what you think you “should” do and focus on what you want to do.

  
  

• Ask yourself: What brings me joy during the holidays—and how can I make space for more of that?

The magic of the season doesn’t come from the size of your to-do list or the quality of your centerpiece. It comes from the laughter shared around the table, the unexpected moments of kindness, and the gratitude you feel when you allow yourself to be.

Combat the Superhero Facade

1. Ask for Help—and Accept It: Delegating doesn’t diminish your efforts—it enhances them by allowing others to contribute. If you’re hosting a dinner, ask guests to bring a dish. Let others handle the decorations (even if it’s not exactly how you’d do it). Outsource tasks like cleaning or gift wrapping, if your budget allows. If you feel unfairly burdened with holiday responsibilities, have an honest conversation with your loved ones about redistributing the workload. Making holiday magic shouldn’t be a solo act; it’s a team effort. Shift the burden together and turn “I’ve got this” into “We’ve got this.”

   
   

2. Set Boundaries Around Your Time: It’s okay to say no to commitments that don’t serve you or your loved ones. Protect your time by prioritizing what brings joy and letting go of the rest. If you feel guilty saying no, try offering an alternative: “I can’t bake cookies this year, but I’d love to stop by and help decorate them.”

   
   

3. Recognize the Signs in Loved Ones: If you notice a friend or family member falling into the Superhero Facade trap, hold space for them, give them the permission to let things go, or help if you can. Simple gestures like acknowledging their hard work can go a long way.

While we often carry the Superhero Facade burden silently, others do notice—especially our children, friends, and loved ones who see us as role models. When we live behind the facade, we unintentionally teach them that perfection is the price of happiness. This holiday season, take off the cape and let us remind you: you’re already enough.

With gratitude,

Lisa Sun

GRAVITAS Founder and CEO

“Being more of ourselves is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and others. My goal this year is to review the lengthy list of to-do’s and distill it down to the core essentials so we can all relax and enjoy the holidays.”

MICHELLE D. (From LinkedIn)